Ian Willey
Replay
Every day my son watches a video
showing highlights of the final game
of the 2006 World Cup, in which
Zinedine Zidane from France head-
butts the Italian player in the chest
resulting in a red card and a flat
ending to a champagne career though
maybe this time will be different,
this time Zidane will count to three
to control his anger and instead aim
his magnificent head and drive
the ball into the thermal exhaust port
of the Death Star blowing it to bits
as the entire galaxy stands on its feet
and roars and his coach will slap
him on the back and say bon boulot,
Zinedine, that was using your head!
Ian Willey has no problem speaking about himself in the third person since he’s as puzzled by his behavior as everyone else.